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Circle Time

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When I was a child I was obsessed with circle stories. I thought the idea of events unfolding and going back to where they started was always interesting, yet impossible. I was taught to look at life in a linear way, with the promise that nothing would ever be the same, but here I am back at home, unemployed (by choice), with the same dreams and goals for my life I’ve had since I was 8 or 9. Circles are not impossible. I should know my name begins with one.

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I keep receiving Snapchats of sunshine and palm trees from my friends who live in California, while I stare at the snowstorm raging outside my window. Sometimes life isn’t fair.

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Owner’s Manual

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What’s harder? Leaving? Or starting?

 

 

I’ve been a student my entire life. I’ve had an instruction manual laid out for me since I can remember. I’ve been taught how to think.

Do this. 

Do that.

y=mx+b.

Ai Wei Wei isn’t a traitor he’s a revolutionary. 

The corpus callosum divides the cerebrum into left and right hemispheres. 

Cosmopolitan is problematic because it reinforces patriarchal ideals. 

Think critically (a.k.a. think exactly like the professor so you get an A in the course). 

After 21 years and 32 credits later, I’ve been let out into the world and forced to create some kind of life for myself. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, but who does these days? I am scared. I am vulnerable. I’m upset because even though I was “present” in college most of the time, I wasn’t 100% of the time and now I regret always planning for the future. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t have a manual. Education never taught me how to think for myself. Education never taught me about life, yet here I am living it. It’s only day 1. Let’s see how this goes.

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Thursday

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I finished my undergraduate education.

My hero, Nelson Mandela, died.

In the last course of my undergraduate career I told a class full of people my darkest secret.

I almost got sexually assaulted, but got away in the nick of time.

I haven’t mentally addressed these things yet.

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The goal is to …

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The goal is to find a way to make as much money as possible without spending so much time working while still doing something you love. Fortunately, I’m doing that.”
– Prof. Bob Steele