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41 Completely Badgirl Anaïs Nin Quotes

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For future reference

Thought Catalog

Nicki VarkevisserNicki Varkevisser

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.
I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
Ordinary life does not interest me.
Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat.
Good things happen to those who hustle.
I am only responsible for my…

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Silicosis

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My last grandparent is on his deathbed.
His wife died on my birthday in April.
I keep thinking about beginnings and endings.
Inhalations and exhales
If my lungs had to be scarred from an occupational hazard what would I choose?
Silica?
Asbestos?
Dust mites from the carpet in my cubicle lit by fluorescents?
Or hairspray from matinee and evenings spent backstage?
Instead I wake up with my lungs scarred from fear.
I’m unable to speak my truth never mind live it.
I’m a fraud.
I’m the best actress that ever was.

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It’s been roughly 6 months and 20 days since my last post and I can say a lot has changed in that time.

I moved from Boston to China to New York City.

I turned 22.

I started a 2 year sabbatical from men.

More updates to come.

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I welcomed the first day of the new year resolution-less with a broken phone while nursing a small hangover. Tomorrow will be better. I’ll make sure of it.